Let Steven eat Cake!
by The Cowardly Christian
Summary: A 5 year old Steven meets a 5 year old Cave; And both become fast friends! ...Lord have mercy on the poor doomed souls of beach city...and Pearls blood pressure...
1. Chapter 1

Let Steven eat cake!

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

A five year old Steven Universe was running through the streets of beach city without a care in the world. It was then he saw the cake...Just sitting there in a back alley unguarded. "That's unusual! And delicious!" Shouted Steven as he pounced on the cake.

 **CLANG!**

The cake had vanished! And now he was in a steel cage! And now it had grown legs and was now hauling Steven away! "The cake was a lie!" Shouted Steven frantically as he was dragged to the outskirts of town...

…...

Finally he was let out in the middle of a junkyard...And in front of a very agitated boy around his age! "Gah! You stupid probes! Bring me food not people!" Shouted the boy.

He sighed and turned to Steven. "Any chance you'd be willing to be my food?" Asked the boy over his stomach growling.

Steven shook his head. "No! I'm not food! You come with me! I get you food!" The boy in question wore clothes that looked like multiple rags stitched poorly together. He also wore broken goggles and fingerless gloves.

"Really? Thanks! I'm Cave Johnson!" He said holding out his hand. "Steven Universe!" He shouted as he shook caves hand. Together they ran out of the junkyard together...Leaving everyone else in cages. "Hey what about us!? Shouted the forgotten 8 year old Lars.

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!**

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**

 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


	2. Chapter 2

Let Steven eat cake! ch. 2

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

The Gems were just procrastinating around the house, when Steven brought Cave Johnson into the house...and inadvertently into their lives.

The Gems first became aware of his presence when they smelled the same smell that most people would associate with the vomit of a lovechild between a skunk and a hobo...that had died recently...and was smothered in dead fish.

When they actually saw him they first believed that Steven had brought home a large pile of filthy rags...that were somehow moving.

"Hey guys! This is my new friend Cave! He lives at the dump and he's hungry! Can he have lunch with us?" Asks Steven eagerly.

The Gems while trying to keep themselves from vomiting, not wanting to seem rude; say yes...

…...

Before the Gems can do anything else, Cave is already in the kitchen. He skewers a piece of toast, two bacon, and two eggs on a poker. He then turns on the stove and holds the poker over it.

Pearl can't help but chuckle. "Uh, Cave my boy. You'll never get it cooked like that-

 **FWOOM!**

Pearls stopped mid-sentence as Caves poker spontaneously burst into flames. GAH! Cried out Cave as he waved it back-and-forth frantically as he tried to put it out. Pearl tried to calm him. "Amethyst! Get the fire extinguisher! Cave! Relax! Just put it-

 **STAB!**

Everyone's eyes widened in horror when they see where Cave accidentally threw the skewer...which is Pearls eye...who then bursts into flames-

OH MY GLOB! OH MY GLOB! I'M IN EXCRUCIATING PAIN! Screamed Pearl as she ran around spreading the flames even more.

…...

Later, after the firemen have left and Pearl has(mostly) recovered. Cave tries to apologize by making them all lunch as well. Garnet tries to stop him. "Cave that's not necessary, we'll-

 **CRASH!**

Everyone could only stare dumbstruck as Cave smashed a hole in the microwave before he jammed yet another poker inside-

 **BOOM!**

…...

After the firemen left(again). Garnet had had enough. "Right, were just going have cereal." She declared as she set things up in the ruins of their once pristine home.

Cave calmly agrees and pours corn flakes and milk into a bowl...Which then bursts into flames.

"Wha- How is that even possible!?" Exclaimed a bewildered Pearl. The other Gems could only give blank stares as their house burned down...again...

And thus ended Cave's first day in the life of the Crystal Gems...

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


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